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May 19, 2008

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barry

Well, you made a choice to have a child, and you lament that you might not, on your own be able to afford health insurance, transportation and housing.

Think about that single parent in the 1950s, compelled to give up the child for adoption, Medicaid not yet conceived, little public transportion and autos that were unaffordable. What would that single parent have done. Hard to say, but she'd not be as lucky as you.

Poor you.

Green Beans

Barry,

You’re completely sidestepping the real issue here and making a personal attack (women in the 1950s didn’t have access to reproductive justice). I didn’t have a choice when I decided to not have children: I can’t afford it, even with a graduate degree and two professional jobs (I work all day, every day). I rely on public transportation and live frugally, but the rise in health care, housing, and education leaves me near bankruptcy. It’s another indication of the growing disparity in this country, which feels less and less like a democracy.

Tracelina

Barry, I don’t think Nan is claiming that her situation is worse than that of a single mother in the 1950s. I suggest you read her post more clearly (or read her interview in Salon, or listen to her on OnPoint) rather than attacking her for a life decision that you’d presume to tell her she shouldn’t have made.

The truth of the matter for the professional middle class is that getting by is far tougher than in years past. Those of us with a relative amount of privilege—college degrees, middle-class parents, good schooling—are told to “follow our bliss,” to pursue careers that make us tick—journalism, teaching (at the K-12 as well as post-secondary levels), social service, publishing, non-profit work, etc.—not expecting to make lots of money like our friends and classmates in finance, business, consulting, etc., but with the understanding that we’ll at least be able to make ends meet.

College costs have skyrocketed; government funding has gone way down (and what’s left is mostly loans, rather than grants); our parents are trying to keep themselves afloat in a failing economy and are jeopardizing their own possibility of retirement because we can’t pay our bills without their help. Salaries have remained stagnant, even in the face of the ever-larger costs of healthcare, childcare, and housing—none of which are costs that can be cut down, cut out, or deferred. This isn’t a question of pragmatism or frivolity. Even the most penny-pinching of my colleagues and friends are still living paycheck-to-paycheck, and often having to ashamedly ask their parents for help to pay for rent, student loans, dental work, preventive medical care, and other costs that can’t be avoided.

I ask you this: what does it say about the state of class disparity in our nation that those of us with college (and, in many cases, advanced) degrees, who were told that we could, and should, work to improve the state of affairs for those who didn’t have the same advantages we did, can’t pay our [massive student loan, mortgage, and other] bills on the salaries that we earn in these professions? There is an enormous sense of shame involved in admitting, even to one’s closest friends, that one’s salary covers little else but student loan payments and rent. That despite all of the positive messages we received growing up and in college, the hard reality is that it’s now nigh on impossible to get by in life—to say nothing of achieving the modestly comfortable lifestyle most of our parents had—unless we compromise hugely on our moral drive to change the world for others and for ourselves. That isn’t a choice that anyone should have to make, and it’s incredibly disheartening not only that the disparity between the “haves” and everybody else has grown as wide as it has, but also that there are those who want to cast aspersions and throw blame on those of us who’ve ended up there.

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